Not only does abstinence-only education completely erase and forget about people...– 5 Ways the GOP’s War on Women is Fueling Rape Culture (via grrl-meat) The likes of Limbaugh, GoP presidential candidates et al are clear examples of what abstinence-only education has wrought.
You know what would help? Seeing someone on TV who has a butt like mine and is...– Why “I prefer small boobs” isn’t helping (via sociolab) Nothing is more annoying than reading or commenting online about body image issues and having a guy wander in and proclaim that he finds all kinds of women attractive and we don’t even need to wear makeup anyway. (via feminist-submissive)
Epic. Reblogging from a friend's Tumblr.
Me: As a book recommendation, you might want to check out Delusions of Gender by Cordelia Fine (Kit Fine's daughter) about neurosexism and bad research in popular science books. The ebook is discounted on Amazon right now, and it's a really important read
Guy: Heh, I already own it. :-)
Guy: I've been bitching about this since I was young.
Guy: But I also have a lot to learn. I've been meaning to read some good source material on feminism for some time.
Me: Cool! I recommend How to Suppress Women's Writing by Joanna Russ.
Me: It's a quick read, and extremely relevant.
Guy: You know what I reckon the best way to do that is? Keep promoting "chic lit" in the publishing industry :P
Guy: There might be some good stuff but can we say "seriously inane" for the most part?
Me: Or, alternatively, we can stop assuming that the only genre named for the gender of those who read and write it is, by definition, shit. The fact that 'chick lit' is used as a prejorative is hardly helpful.
Guy: Um, dude. It's like you want to get offended.
Me: No, this is actually a MASSIVE argument in feminism.
Guy: Why not just call it "lit".
Me: And when you say, casually, 'Oh, chick lit is rubbish and it's hurting women's writing,' that is basically the definition of the problem at hand.
Guy: A lot of it is bad.
Me: Why do you say that? On what basis?
Guy: And, yes, I do say casual things like that not expecting that I have to cover every instance.
Guy: In the same way that I make broad judgements about other things I find inane.
Me: I'm not asking you to cover every instance. I'm asking you to see that the casual assumption is itself problematic.
Guy: LIke magazines about men's health, cars, etc.
Me: Firstly: 'chick lit' is a label bestowed on novels written primarily by and for women. That is the base definition. It says nothing about their content, but if you call a novel 'chick lit', you're instantly inferring that it's not serious literature.
Guy: Foz, *sigh*.
Me: There is a huge gender bias in publishing, reviewing and literary culture about chick lit books, and the fact that books which just so happen to be by or about women are discounted by calling them that.
Guy: Attacking the wrong dude gain.
Me: [Name removed], seriously: you have said a problematic thing. You are now refusing to admit the possibility that I'm right to call it problematic.
Guy: Um, I see no refusal in what I wrote about above. I can only "refuse" if you ask me to do something.
Me: More to the point, you just complained - casually, which is worse - to a female author that promoting chick lit helps to suppress women's writing.
Guy: i.e. you must write "Do you refuse to admit there is a problem".
Guy: Yes, and you didn't even let me get to my point.
Me: If you agree it's problematic, then why complain that I mentioned it?
Guy: Hint: it's different to what you think it was.
Guy: And it would be nice if you would let me finish.
Guy: So, will you allow me to do that.
Guy: Before brow beating me?
Guy: Is that a "yes"?
Me: Go ahead. Make your point.
Guy: Chick lit, as I have heard the term used in mainstream media is about "typically feminine" things (note the quotes).
Guy: e.g. relationships, fashion, etc.
Guy: By promoting this as the model of feminine literature it crowds out the other stuff.
Guy: If you wish to reclaim this word, I'm all for that.
Guy: But if you wish to promote this as the sole form of literature you starve the other good stuff of oxygen.
Guy: So, by all means, have an argument about the assumption it's shit.
Guy: I'm not arguing about its merits.
Guy: Well, a little.
Guy: I don't care for it personally and do think some of what I have casually read is inane.
Guy: (But no more so than all the inane crap guys write)
Guy: So... yeah, point finished.
Me: OK, firstly, the assumption that 'feminine things' = inane literature is deeply sexist. What it says is that in order to write well, women have to write either about men or in a masculine style; or, worse still, that anything traditionally feminine is inherently inferior, unworthy and uninteresting.
Guy: That's NOT what I'm saying.
Guy: STOP before going on!
Guy: Let's clarify what I am saying.
Guy: You are talking to ME Foz.
Me: Secondly, while there are some authors who claim the label of 'chick lit' openly, most don't: it's a derogatory term foisted on their work by others who want to disparage it as being by and for women.
Guy: You need to ask people to clarify rather than launching into arguments based on misconceptions about what they are saying.
Me: Yes, and you're saying offensive shit!
Guy: I'm not listening until you address these issues.
Guy: You are launching into polemic without asking for any clarification.
Guy: This is not a communication style I care for.
Guy: You automatically deem me guilty of stuff
Guy: Without even knowing whether I am actually saying that or not.
Me: I'm attacking your arguments, not you.
Guy: You aren't even doing that.
Guy: You don't know what my arguments are.
Me: And you're reacting personally because you can't bear the thought you might accidentally have abosrbed some problematic beliefs by accident.
Me: You're not even letting me make mine!
Guy: If you'll give me some time I can go back and find a handful of misconceptions in what you've already wrote.
Me: You're dominating this conversation, like you do whenever we talk about this, and claiming that because I know you, OBVIOUSLY you can't be making an offensive point, and that the solution is to just LET YOU TALK MORE.
Guy: There is an assumption that I "must be saying something offensive"
Me: You are!
Me: And I am tumbling this conversation.
Me: Because I am SICK of this shit.
Guy: Foz, if you make this public I will be very upset.
Me: I am LIVID with you right now.
Me: I'll take your name off it. But I will post the conversation.
Guy: And I do NOT consent to it.
Guy: I do not consent to any use of my words.
Guy: You are breaking my consent.
Guy: This is a private conversation.
Guy: If you wish to paraphrase go ahead.
Guy: Be aware it will mean the end of any kind of friendship between us to.
Guy: We still live in a world where consent matters.
Me: Honestly? I can't keep being friends with you under these conditions.
Me: You're so condescending it physically hurts me.
Guy: Honestly, I think you ideology is hurting you.
Guy: I am a perfectly reasonable person.
Me: What, feminism?
Guy: Have a perfectly reasonable conversation with you.
Guy: Not feminism.
Guy: YOUR ideology.
Guy: The bastard chimera of a misused ideology that you have crafted for yourself.
Me: No, you're not being reasonable. You're being a privileged entitled jerk who thinks his right to explain every single thing he says the second I question it is more important than maybe learning you're wrong.
Guy: I hope in a few years you apologise for this.
Guy: I am quietly leaving you to your misplaced rage.
Me: I have a similar hope.
Me: I'll leave you to your misplaced self-righteousness.
Guy: Don't tumble this.
Guy: Can I at least ask that from you?
Me: You can ask nothing from me.
Guy: Umm, yes I can.
Guy: You can refuse.
Me: Then I refuse.
Guy: So be it.
Guy: We are no longer friends.
Me: Works for me.
Male privilege may be more obvious in other cultures, but in so-called Western...– When Worlds Collide: Fandom and Male Privilege by Lucy Gillam (via stfuconservatives)
A Man. A Woman. Just Friends? →
shizaminelli: “We have trouble, in our culture, with any love that isn’t based on sex or blood. We understand romantic relationships, and we understand family, and that’s about all we seem to understand. We have trouble with mentorship, the asymmetric love of master and apprentice, professor and student, guide and guided; we have trouble with comradeship, the bond that comes from shared,...
Peerbackers: "We See A Different Frontier"... →
jhameia: We are raising funds to publish a special issue/anthology of colonialism-themed speculative fiction from outside the first-world viewpoint, co-edited by Fabio Fernandes and published by The Future Fire. Colonialism is still a thorn on the side of humankind. Many of the problems of the Third World, for instance, are due to the social-political-economic matrix imposed on its countries...
Hi-C Educates the Masses: thesavagesalad: PSA post... →
thesavagesalad: PSA post to my fellow feminists trans*women can’t appropriate a woman’s identity why? because they are women. Maybe this needs repeating- but being a woman transcends your genitalia or your chromosomes. Being a woman is how you identify. That’s it. That’s all it takes to identify as a woman. If you know in your heart of hearts that you are a woman- that’s all it is. So don’t...
It doesn't take much to remind me why I stopped...
Every year since I left pro-wrestling fandom, I check in on Wrestlemania to test the waters. This year there was a brilliant match between Undertaker and Triple H. Hats off, instant classic. But then there’s the things that throw you right out of the buzz zone. This year Mike Tyson was being inducted into the Hall of Fame (for non wrestling fans, he was involved in a big wrestling angle...
Merf. Thinking is Hard.: Le questions for you all... →
pluckypalaeontologist: floodxland: Why do people tell people with very long hair to get it cut? Like also with this mean, agressive vibe about it as if to say - how greedy you are for having such long hair. Why don’t you cut it off and donate it to someone who needs it? When did these people die and become lords of other people’s hair length? For one a lot of the hair people “donate” does...